God In the Waiting and the Wrestling

Have you ever felt alone? Have you ever been scared of what’s behind and what’s before you? Have you ever sat in a season of waiting and wrestling, tired and fearful that you won’t make it or that God won’t hear your prayers? Have you ever lost hope? Have you ever wondered if your story was over, if God was done with you?

In Genesis 32:22-32, the patriarch Jacob finds himself alone. He is frightened of what’s to come, as he faces his past. Having prayed for deliverance from the Lord, Jacob remains in a time of dreaded anticipation and waiting, unsure of what the future holds.

Previously in Genesis 31, we read that Jacob had left the company of his uncle Laban. At the beginning of Genesis 32, he sent messengers to his brother Esau, telling him of what had transpired in his life since they had last seen each other. If you remember, before Jacob had left home to live with his uncle, Jacob had robbed Esau of his birthright and the blessing of the firstborn from their father, Isaac (Gen. 27:36). Left deceived and dejected, Esau had planned to kill his brother, but their mother Rebekah sent Jacob away to Laban until Esau’s anger subsided (Gen. 27:41-45). Now, in Genesis 32, Jacob is preparing to face Esau for the first time since his departure. Had his anger subsided? Jacob had left his family as a lone traveler (Gen. 28:10), but now he had become a wealthy company himself (Gen. 32:5). What would happen to him and his family?

The messengers returned to Jacob, announcing Esau’s coming. Fear gripped Jacob as his brother drew near. He prayed to the Lord for deliverance, recounting God’s steadfast love and leaning on His past promises to him (Gen. 32:9-12). Then, Jacob waited. The inevitable was coming; his brother approached. Eventually, he found himself alone in the waiting. Had Esau’s anger subsided?

However, Jacob was not alone. In this waiting, God meets him, but not in the way that one might expect. A man interrupts Jacob’s solitude, a wrestling match commences, and Jacob wrestles with this man through the night (Gen. 32:24). However, Jacob does not back down in the wrestling. Eventually, the man dislocates Jacob’s hip, seeing his persistence. Jacob still persists, even with a dislocated hip. Why does Jacob persist? If I had a dislocated hip, I would imagine my desire would be to bow out of the fight. Yet, Jacob persists. The man tells Jacob to let Him free, but Jacob has not gotten what he was seeking. His response? “I will not let you go unless you bless me” (Gen. 32:26, ESV). 

Have you ever found yourself alone, frightened, unsure of what’s to come? Maybe, like Jacob, you are scared of the past. Maybe, like Jacob, you are scared of the unknown. Maybe, like Jacob, you are scared that you won’t have deliverance. Maybe, like Jacob, you are scared to face tomorrow.

Notice a few things from the Jacob narrative. In Jacob’s fear, in his uncertainty, Jacob seeks God. He remembers God’s love, faithfulness, and promises. Yet, he still must sit and wait. What happens in the waiting? God meets him there. God does not leave him alone in the waiting. God visits Jacob. We know the identity of Jacob’s wrestling partner through the eyes of Jacob: He was none other than God Himself (Gen. 32:30). 

God wrestled with Jacob, but Jacob did not give up. Jacob sought the Lord’s blessing for what was to come, just as he had prayed for. After a night of wrestling, God blesses him. In the following chapter, we see that God answers His prayer. Esau runs to Jacob and embraces his brother (Gen. 33:4). What Jacob feared was not what was in store for him.

What can we learn from this story? What can we learn when we are waiting, scared, uncertain, fearful, and left wrestling? First, the Lord is with us in the waiting. He does not leave us alone. He is present. In the midst of Jacob’s waiting, the Lord breaks into the narrative in that place. We must not be fooled that we are alone in our waiting. 

We also learn that He is there in our wrestling. As with Jacob, sometimes God lets us wrestle in the waiting. Sometimes, we find ourselves wrestling with God over our fear, over our future, over our perspective. We must not give up in this wrestling. We must not bow out in fear or weariness. As Jacob demonstrated, we must persist to seek the Lord, His blessing, and His direction. Through the wrestling, God reveals to Jacob both Who He is and provides His blessing. This blessing gives Jacob needed direction. It shows him that God is not finished with his story.

We must not miss another truth: Jacob does not walk away from wrestling the same. Two important reminders leave the wrestling with Jacob: his dislocated hip and his name change. Notice at the close of Genesis 32 that God does not remove the physical reminder of Jacob’s wrestling, as he walks with a limp the next day. Furthermore, God’s blessing of Jacob involved the change of his name to Israel, for Jacob had striven “with God and with men” and “prevailed” (Gen. 32:28). Ultimately, this name change served as an outworking of God’s promises to Jacob’s grandfather, to Jacob’s father, and to him himself. God proved both faithful to Jacob and faithful to His promises.

Jacob walked differently after the wrestling, precisely because of the wrestling and his perseverance in the wrestling. He walked away with a constant reminder of God’s work in his life and a testament to his perseverance. If we are honest with ourselves, we often don’t like to wait on God. We crave immediate deliverance. Immediate answers. We want God’s blessing and direction for what’s to come on our timeline, at our convenience. We sit in fear, worried that our story is over, that our past will define us, or that God is done with us. However, it is in the waiting and in the wrestling that God reminds us of His presence and continued work in and through us. It may not be what we expect, but we will find in this place the One in whom we must depend and trust. In the waiting, in the wrestling, we must remember God’s demonstrated love to us in the past and His stated promises to us, seeking His blessing for what’s to come as we align to His plan and purposes. Do not give up. Remember who is with you in the waiting and in the wrestling. There is no room for fear where God is at work. If we persevere through the waiting and the wrestling, we can rest in the assurance that we will walk away changed, ready to face tomorrow because of the One who both walked with us then and who promises to walk with us now.